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SOMEONE STOP THIS MADMAN! (Flex Tape)

SOMEONE STOP THIS MADMAN! (Flex Tape)


“You may have seen a few people test Flex Seal™ on a bucket!” “UGHH!!” argh… argghh…… [alarm] “URGH!!” Say it, Phil. Say it. “THASALLOTTADAMAGE” Ooohhh “HOWBOUTALILMOAR!?” Okay. [THIS IS FREAKING ME OUT] [wicked smile on face] *Rubbing a censored something* [alarm] Wow, Phil that looks like– “NOW THAT’S A LOTTA DAAAMAGE!” A LOT of damage, thank you, everybody. That’s right I’m– Jesus Christ.. Well, I’m making a video on Flex Tape™, that’s right. I’m the first one to I’ve ever done so. Thank you for recognizing the fact that I’m coming up with new original ideas. What is he gonna– *stutters* Do next, who knows? No, for real, check out JonTron’s video. He did a video on Flex Tape™. It got a couple views. I don’t know. I don’t count views anyway… Also, Jon you haven’t uploaded in five months! Anyway, there’s a few more Flex Tape™ videos to review everybody. Hooray! So, let’s go through them. Yeah, that’s.. [tries to find the right words] What else are you gonna do on a… Whatever day this comes out? Now, in case you’re not familiar with the… The great world of the Flex Tape™, Let me do a quick rundown. There are these really over the top commercials done with the god of tape, Phil himself, and just to give you an example: “Hi, Phil Swift here for flex tape- the super strong waterproof tape- sllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp That could instantly patch, bond, seal and repair.” Incredible right? I want him to slap my ass just like he slapped that can. slllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp Then I want him to seal my heart with Flex Tape. “Flex tape is no ordinary tape. slllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp It’s triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, triple sllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp instantly stopping the toughest leaks.” Now, they always do something extremely over-the-top at the end to sort of demonstrate how- just how powerful the Flex tape is. Uh, in this one, he saws a boat in half. “To show you the power of flex tape- (WOAHH THATSALOTTADAMAGE) booooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm I saw this boat in half (pity) and repaired it with ONLY FLEX TAPE(thats not exaggerate at all)” No way that’s going to work Right? “Not only does Flex tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates this super strong watertight seal.” Oh, yeah? Well, I bet it’s not even completely dry on the inside. “The inside is completely dry!” Well, now they introduce a new product called “Flex tape clear”. Let’s check it out everybody! “Hi, Phil Swift here for flex tape clear. The super strong waterproof tape that’s clearly the best way to patch, bond, seal and repair. Flex tape’s triple thick adhesive inst-” Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but are you gonna saw a boat in half or what Phil? I don’t care unless you saw something in half. (how about you saw your mouth in half phil, so we don’t have to continue to suffer) [exaggerate music] “To show you the power of flex tape clear, [is pewds actually their ad editor+director+consultant?!] (THATSALOTTADAMAGE) I cut a giant hole in another boat!” [wow fascinating! this is so entertaining!] (IN ANOTHER BOAT!) “And repaired it with only flex tape clear.” (Wow. Oh my god.) “Not only does flex tape clear’s powerful adhesive keep all the water out of the boat,” [his feet are going to stick on the tape at some point] Oh yeah? Well, I bet you… He would not run that boat over shark-infested waters. “-But even in shark-infested waters.” [I KNEW FELIX WAS IN CHARGE OF THE ADS!] “It creates a super strong, water-tight barrier that seals out the elements.” “And you can see right through!” [that must make you feel so excited and amazed when you’re running the boat over shark infested waters! HELPFUL!] And you can see right through, when the shark attacks. Wow. Phil, you’re a mad man. You’re an absolute mad lad. Jesus Christ. “I think I’m gonna need a bigger boat! WOHOO! [titanic’s undersea. why dont you join it.]” Oh, how I wish I could ride away in the sunset with Phil. [i thought you were straight, pewds :(] To prove the power of flex tape, We seal the ocean. We seal the Pacific Ocean everybody. What is he gonna do next? Is there anything this man won’t do to demonstrate the power of the Flex tape? [apparently, no.] “To show you the amazing sealing power flex seal, we replaced the bottom of this boat with the screen door and covered it in flex seal.” Why would you do that… [pewds rethinking his choice of the topic of this video] To show the power of flex tape… We put a DOOR on a boat. Just to show the power of flex tape. But is the inside completely dry Phil? “On the water-” “not only does it stay afloat, but the inside is completely dry.” [did we watch this ad already?] Fantastic. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. “To show you the incredible strength of flex shot, I’m gonna blast huge holes through the bottom of that boat with this giant cannon. Ready?” (A fair amount of damage) [slo-mo scene] Why does this man hate boats so much? Phil, please. “Holy ***, Look at all this damage!” THAT’SALOTTADAMAGE. Wow. “Flex shot sealed every hole.” But not the hole in my heart Phil. Not the hole in my heart. “To show you the power of flex glue, we took all these parts and flex glued them together.” “And built the Flex glue monster 4×4!” Jesus Christ, Phil! Will someone stop this man?! Why would you do that? “Hi, Phil Swift here for Flex seal colors.” “The colorful way to coat, seal and stop leaks fast.” “Flex seal colors have the same sealing power as the original, now in vibrant colors that can transform and protect virtually anything.” Literally anything. [ding] Your broken marriage, [ding] your decapitated arm, [ding] your depression. Flex seal colors will fix any problem that you have. “Flex seal colors thick liquid dries to a watertight, flexible rubberized coating.” Phil, you just made a bowl. You just made a bowl for no reason. How are you going to get your pasta out now? “Just a quick shot fills cracks and holes, stopping the toughest leaks while remaining completely flexible.” I used flex seal Brown to seal up my behind, and no one can tell the difference now. Thanks to flex seal brown. Thank you. “It’s actually liquid rubber-” Wait. It’s just liquid rubber? That’s it? That’s all you’re selling me? “Sealing outdoor decorative items…” Oh my god, Phil, you literally murdered [sad music] a bird just to prove a point? You’ve taken it too far Phil. “Forget thin, runny spray paints.” All right, sure, flex seal spray, whatever. But, uh… I’ve seen your boat gimmick Phil, What else can you do? Please? Please WOW me, because there’s nothing that’s going to WOW me at this point. “To show you the incredible strength of flex seal, [this just gets better and better.] we took this old pickup truck and coated it in flex seal colors.” (uh-huh, what are you–) Sure. Phil, what are you doing with the car? “Red, blue and green- It’s the coolest sub you’ve ever seen!” [soon i am going to suffocate, and flex tape will find another advocate!] OH MY GOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD He made a submarine everybody. Out of flex seal!!! “Red, blue and green- it’s the coolest sub you’ve ever seen!” Phenomenal, well done. “We want to know, how did you flex seal and- how did you flex shot?” “Send in your photos and you have a chance to win the ultimate prize package.” Wow. I can win the ultimate prize package. What is that? They don’t say. Is it a date with Phil himself? So they did this competition where you submit what you’re flexing, Apparently someone did up their boat. Someone’s gonna submit their dead Grandma. My grandma died, I just sprayed her with flex seal. And she’s just like I always remembered her. My favorite flex seal has to be the… The christmas commercial, because they’re trying to sell the flex seal as a… As a christmas gift to someone. “Phil Swift here! This holiday season, give ’em the flex seal family of products.” “Everyone loves flex seal!” (WOW, YEA!!) Heh… “Hell yeah, I got some flex seal!” Now I can spray the shit out of you, b… HYEEE! *laughter* “And our incredible flex seal liquid starts out super thick and turns into a strong, flexible rubber.” Wow thanks dad! You got me some flexible rubber dad! I love you Dad! Thank you so much! “Everyone loves flex seal.” (WOW, YEA!) Oh, I kind of want to dip a human in flex seal. I just want to know what happens, you know? “Hi, Phil Swift here for blast-off: the powerful spray that quickly melts ice! To prove the power of the Blast-off, we created GlObAl WaRmInG with the blast-off! “Just a quick blast melts snow and ice fast!” “Even this flimsy tissue- Stays bone-dry with the power of blockout.” You made a piece of cloth, Phil. Now wh-how am I supposed to use the napkin, If it can’t wipe off anything? Innovation everybody. Phil(LIPS) does it the best. “You may have seen a few people test flex seal on a bucket, But you’ve never seen anything like mine!HAHAHA. UH!” First of all, no. No I have not seen anyone stab a bucket to prove the point of flex seal. I don’t think that’s the kind of thing people just do, Out of curiosity. “Come down here, look at this, this is awesome!” That’s not awesome, that’s a lot of damage. [slo-mo scene] “Holy ***, look at all this damage!” Thank you guys, thank you so much. Let’s uh, flex seal everybody, hooray! *Clap* *Clap* Leave a like if you enjoyed this video, hit the bell button to subscribe. I upload videos every single day, that’s right, every day. (it’s) Every day. (bro) I’ll see… I’ll see you guys tomorrow! That’s right, I’ll be here tomorrow, I won’t go anywhere. I’m stuck here forever, please… … Bye. *outro* BUT CAN YOU DO THIS!!!

100 comments

Dear past Felix, I need you to not go on a break. I was seriously bored and had no content to watch. So please make your future self not go on break. Please!!

Этот бестолочь написал видео на русском, а субтитры на русском не оставил….. Ну ок:()))))))

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