What British People REALLY MEAN with @Joel & Lia

Eat Sleep Dreamers welcome back to another
lesson with me Tom. Today I have two very special guests, Joel and Lia. Ok, today guys we are looking at what British
people really mean when they say things to you. So, I mean, I don’t know about you guys
but I think British people aren’t the most direct when we talk to people. Lia – Oh yeah
everything is the opposite, pretty much. Tom – Yeah, absolutely. Yeah we kind of say one
thing and but we secretly mean something different. Joel – oh definitely. I think it’s all because
we are so polite and we are so obsessed with being nice and polite that we can’t be real.
T – yeah or being seen to be polite. J – Being seen, yeah. Definitely. T – Because maybe
the thing that we are saying, we’re not actually being polite but we don’t want to offend anyone.
L – And then I don’t know if it’s a personal thing but I hate the idea of people disliking
me. So I don’t know if that’s a British thing but like most of the stuff I say is for them
and not for me. T – I have had a few difficulties with American friends where I have said one
thing and they have kind of misinterpreted what I said and they always accuse me of being
very indirect. L – Lost in translation guys. T – Absolutely. The way this is going to work
is that I’m going to say the phrase that a British person might say. Joel is going to
say what the non-Brit might understand and then Lia is going to say what the Brit actually
means. J – Perfect. T – Ok, our first phrase is ‘that’s not bad.’ So if Joel, if I was
to say to you that’s not bad about one of your videos. How would most people who aren’t
from Britain interpret that? J – I think non-British people would go oh my gosh, you don’t like
it. That’s terrible. T – Right, ok but actually what are we kind of saying here. L – Actually
that’s not bad means it’s alright, it’s quite good. T – Yeah, that’s right. Yeah I genuinely
think like that’s not bad. Like I quite like it. Why does it sound so negative. I guess
because of the bad it sounds negative, doesn’t it? J – So you are literally saying that is
not bad, but you are not saying that is good. T- Right! L – Using a negative to say something
good. T – No wonder people get confused. And Lia you were kind of saying that we don’t
give out compliments very easily. We are quite reticent to say nice things. L -Absolutely,
yeah so that’s not bad is actually quite a good compliment really.So if you were to say
my videos aren’t that bad, I’d be like cheers thanks so much. T – Yeah I think it’s probably
quite an American thing to say that’s amazing or that’s incredible. L – And Brits don’t
know how to take that either. That’s uncomfortable, giving or receiving praise is the worst. T
– Yeah definitely. So that’s not bad is actually quite a nice thing to say. Of course this
all depends on the person. I think it’s quite a personal thing and like you know there are
some people who really do sort of say exactly what they mean but we are talking sort of
generally speaking I think if we are talking about most British people. L – There’s always
got to be like this doesn’t apply to everyone. T – Yeah exactly, this is a general thing.
Alright, this is one of my favourites ‘let’s meet soon.’ or ‘let’s get together soon.’
So you’ve just bumped into someone and then you are like ‘let’s get together soon.’ L
– You haven’t seen this person for ages T – Right, I mean if I say to you Joel like
‘let’s meet up soon.’ J – Oh you just assume that they mean what they say. You go ok let’s
meet up soon then. Let’s do it. L – When in reality it definitely doesn’t mean that at
all. It’s an empty offer, let’s hope we never bump into each other ever again. T – It’s
definitely a great way to end the conversation because it’s like ok there’s a future plan,
a vague future plan. L – Sorry I couldn’t speak for too long, let’s get a drink or let’s
meet up for a coffee J – Unless someone actually gets their diary out and writes you in, it’s
not going to happen. T – Yeah because you are just saying it and then you are like right
I can exit now,. It’s a great way to exit a conversation. L – Oh it’s a fantastic way
to exit. J – We do it all the time. L – Do it. Guilty! T – Yeah guilty definitely L – Joel
you’re guilty as well, aren’t you? J – No! I mean what I say. T – I’m getting my diary
out then for later. Our next phrase ‘I’ll bear it in mind.’ So if Joel makes a suggestion
to me and I said ok Joel I’ll bear that in mind. What are you thinking? J – A non-British
person would be like ok he’s really taken on board what I’ve told him. L – Yeah, I’ve
really helped him. J – I’ve really helped him there. T – Right! J – Well done me. T
– But… L – But I thin it means no I have forgotten that already. My idea is better
than that. T – Yeah like hmmm interesting idea, I think I’ll just put that to the side.
I’ll continue with my idea. J – But as a British person if you had said that to me I would
then instantly know oh he didn’t like that suggestion. L – You know when people try and
talk to you about something you already know Say YouTube and we’ve been doing this for
a while now and they are like ‘I know a girl who started a…she sells cameras J – You
should sell… L – and you go oh yeah I’ll bear that in mind but of course you are not
going to. T – How old was the person that you were talking to? L – I was at some like
80th party. J – Could you not tell? T – Right, yeah! Ok, this is genuinely one of my favourite
phrases and I think this one could be interpreted in two different ways. We were talking about
making an offer so like ‘let’s get together soon’ or whatever. A way that you could reject
it is ‘I’d love to but…’ J -Oh ok. T – ‘I’d love to but I’ve got plans’ or something like
that. How would the non-Brit interpret that? J – The non-Brit i think would think oh they
really want to do it but they just can’t.They wish they could be there but they can’t. T
– Yeah, whereas L – Whereas a Brit probably means definitely don’t want to do that and
so I’m going to pretend that I do and then give them the reason why I can’t do it. I
always make sure I have got a birthday. I think Ricky Gervais taught this, it’s like
remember to always say you know you’ve got your sister’s boyfriend’s birthday on the
weekend or something on the weekend. It’s always a birthday, someone you don’t know
directly but you have to be there for some reason like a family or a boyfriend’s family
thing. J – Is that what you do? T – You need to change it each time though, right? L – Yeah
you always have to change it yeah. J – Again? L – You have to always change it, I’d love
to but it’s my grandparents. What I thought you grandparents were…No they are all alive.
I’d love to but. T – Yeah and we can use it genuinely, right? Like I’ve used it genuinely
many times. I’d love to, I really would love to but I have plans. So I think it is a great
way to reject an offer but it’s also a brilliant way to reject an offer that you absolutely
don’t want to do. J – because I think the more that we Brits try to prove ourselves
in saying we really want to do it, the less we want to do it. Because if I genuinely wanted
to see you andI couldn’t do it I’d go ‘oh no, I can’t do that day. What about this?’
I wouldn’t go ‘oh I really want to do that, oh but I can’t.’ L – And do you know what’s
really funny, when people try so hard to make it possible for you to be there because of
whatever you said the excuse is. Ah do you know what we can change it so that it’s earlier
in the day and then you can go to that and then you can go to the thing.’ And then you
have to maintain your lie and you have to turn up, anyway. Speaking from experience.
T – yeah absolutely. So I think if someone makes a future plan and they say ‘I’d love
to but I can’t. How about Wednesday or Thursday?’ Then they are genuine, right? Because they
do want to see you. But if there’s nothing that comes after it. L – I’d love to but I’m
washing my hair. A really non-British thing to do is to say I can’t do that but Brits
feel like they have to say why. Why they can’t be there and Joel taught me if I really don’t
want to be somewhere or do something I don’t have to give the other person a reason. I
can just say I’m sorry I can’t do that day. J – They don’t need to know your diary. L
– Yeah, it’s amazing. Isn’t that freeing? Joel taught me that because his Mum taught
him that. Amazing! J – My Mum was always like you don’t need to prove yourself. You don’t
need to say why you can’t go. Just say sorry i can’t do that. T – Wow! But how do people
react to it? L -They like to know why. J – Know one has ever asked. Via text no one has ever
asked, they have always just been like oh ok and accepted it. But face to face people
are like oh what have you got on how come? I’m like, and then I’ll say it but it’s like
I don’t have to prove, like we’ve said the more you try to prove yourself the more it
comes across as fake. T – That’s quite liberating.I am going to try that now. L – Isn’t it amazing?
T – Wow! It’s quite brave of you. L – Brave! J – Brave! T – Speaking of brave. Another
word that can often been misunderstood is brave or interesting. So a good example maybe
again I’ve watched Joel and Lia’s new video and I say ‘that’s brave.’ L – That is the
worst compliment anyone could give. It’s such a backhanded like slap in the face, isn’t
it? J – I thin it kind of means like Oh I would never do that but it’s good that you’ve
done it.’ T – Yeah, I wouldn’t take it well. I think if someone described my video as being
brave I’d be ok what did I do wrong? Did I swear? Did I do something inappropriate? J
– So I don’t think you are going to use that technique of mine or my Mum’s, are you? Because
you were like oh it’s very brave. T – no, absolutely. Also interesting I think if someone
says that’s interesting, interesting L – Interesting. How interested are they? T – Not that interested.
Ok and our final phrase is ‘by the way’. Now this is linking kind of two ideas. So you’ll
start off by saying ‘It’s great to see you, how are you doing? Oh by the way have you
….’ L – Have you managed to RSVP yet for my event? T – Yeah right. Oh by the way, yeah
exactly, are you coming to my party or whatever? That by the way, like for a non-Brit. J – You’d
just think oh they’ve just thought of this off the top of their head, it’s just come
to them and they are asking me this question. T – Yeah so I’ve got one idea ‘hey how are
you doing, nice to see you’ and then I’m kind of linking this ‘oh did you RSVP to my party?’
or whatever. But what is that by the way really telling us? L – By the way was the main, whatever
they say after by the way was what they actually wanted to go into the conversation saying
but were not quite brave enough to say it at the top of the sentence. So it’s just like
I’ll just ramble for a bit of small talk like blah blah blah by the way this is what I really
want to say and i need to say it right now, so that’s by the way. T – Absolutely yeah.
Exactly so if you have. You know you are going to ask someone for a big ask or something
like that. You’ve got a big request, I often frill it with something else, something before
to sort of pad it out with fluffy language. L – And something after J – Like a sandwich
L – The meat in the middle, the beef like in our video. T – I feel a bit like a sandwich
right now. I’m the the difficult ask L – You are the by the way. J – You might even preface
it with ‘oh we must go for lunch one day by the way..’ L – Yeah, lunch would be at the
end J – Yeah yeah T – I love your jumper, by the way can i have my shoes back please
that you borrowed two months ago, oh but we must go for lunch.’ L – That’s so British.
J – The perfect conversation L – Oh by the way do you have that tenner that you owe me?
T -It’s that kind of a thing. It’s that little kind of thing that has been annoying you or
worrying you or something. It’s that kind of a little nugget of information. L – You
have to make it sound like it’s nothing otherwise you are the problem. T – Alright guys, yeah
that’s all of them. Hopefully you guys will understand what British people really mean
a bit better now. As we said this isn’t for all British people, some people do just say
what they mean L – And mean what they say. T – And I’m trying to do that more. I’m definitely
trying to be a bit more direct in my communication. L – Oh yeah, I’m reading a self-help book
that saying like ‘be impeccable with your words’ which is something I’m really trying
to work on. T – You are doing well, you are doing a good job. L – Well thanks hun! T – I’m
being genuine. Anyways, thank you guys for hanging out with me J -That’s alright. L – Thanks
for having us. T – You guys please go and check out the video we did on your channel.
What did we do? J – London slang L – so words you might hear if you are in London. Really
funny video. T – Super funny. L – Funnier than this one T – Much funnier than this one.
L – I’m kidding J – No! T – But yeah super fun and yeah check it out. Make sure you guys
subscribe to Joel and Lia’s channel they do loads of stuff about British culture, British
English. J -yeah L – All sorts of stuff J -all sorts. L – All sorts of jokes. T -There’s
some funny old skits right if you go really far back L – if you dig far back enough, you’ll
find some sketches. T – What are the characters called again? L – Gino and Gina T – I’ll be
linking that below so check it out. L – Loads of regional accents stuff as well. Just have
a look. Thank you for having us. T – thank you so much for coming on guys. Alright guys
thank you so much for hanging out with us and we’ll see you next time. Take it easy
All – Bye!

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